Dating for Nice People – August 24, 2016
The Friend Zone
Joey: It’s never gonna happen.
Ross: (innocently) What?
Joey: You and Rachel.
Ross: (acts surprised) What? (pause) Why not?
Joey: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you’re in the friend zone.
Ross: No, no, no. I’m not in the zone.
Joey: Ross, you’re mayor of the zone.
(The Relationship Code with Heron Free has been re-branded to Dating Skills for Nice People. Hope you enjoy the change.)
Contrary to popular belief, people in your ‘friend zone’ are the FIRST people you should look at dating not the last. They are your most trusted allies and the people you can be yourself the most with.
Our instinct to ‘friend zone’ somebody is not typically related to lack of personal compatibility but to lack of attraction. Attraction (within reason) is much easier to create than people think, whereas deep compatibility with someone is next to impossible to create.
Friends intuitively care about you and want you to be happy. They support your dreams and show a high degree of empathy when you are hurting. They have integrity. And they are always there for you when you need them (unlike some people we’ve all dated in the past).
As well, all the research on marriages show that being friends is one, if not the biggest factors that predicts marriage success. So why are we so quick to friend zone somebody and consider them not date-able?
In this paradigm shifting talk we are going solve this problem and discuss what the friend zone is and what it isn’t. We will then use it to open up brand new opportunities in dating that you had never considered.
We will explore:
1. How mainstream media, promotes and teaches that attraction is the key to relationship success.
2. How long-term compatibility with a partner determined by partner similarities (a friend) not differences.
3. Why we assume because we are attracted to someone they are also a compatible partner.
4. How to become a great friend with the opposite sex (or same sex) to up your dating game.
5. How to tell the difference between a great friend and pseudo-friend or doppelganger. These are the worst.
Seating is limited.
And I’m back. Look forward to seeing you all again.
Psychologist and Author of The Relationship Code